Don’t Play Small at Work: How I Handle Microaggressions at Work

This article is authored by Nadia Riepenhausen, Senior Communications Manager, Digital & IT, The Adecco Group.

“Are you allowed to go to work with your hair like that?”

“How does a Zimbabwean get to Switzerland and work in a Swiss bank?”

“You speak English so well.”

These are just some of the many examples of microaggressions I experienced when I first moved to Switzerland for work.

Let me paint a picture: I am mixed race and was born in Zimbabwe. I have very curly hair, which wouldn’t have stood out in South Africa, where I lived previously. But when I moved to Switzerland, my hair seemed to be the subject of fascination.

Comments like the one above about my hair, are not overtly racist, of course -- but the intent behind the comment is to highlight my ‘otherness’ or ‘exoticness’...especially here in Switzerland, where not many people look like me.

What they said

Since moving to Switzerland, I have experienced countless similar ‘microaggressions’ inside and outside the workplace. These comments refer to my ethnicity, accent, or education–based on the fact that I’m originally from Africa. I’m used to being in spaces where I’m in the minority, especially after living in the US and UK, but here in Switzerland, I felt the difference more acutely than any other countries.

The comments have been a prevalent part of my experience living and working in Switzerland. Several years back, for example, someone asked me: “How does a Zimbabwean get to Switzerland and work in a Swiss bank?”

I sarcastically replied: “Well, I swam and ran here, through the desert, learnt English along the way and as luck would have it, here I am!”

It all comes off as a joke, but the reality is that it’s not a joke. I know that I’m here because I’m smart and talented and navigated more red tape and hurdles than most could imagine. I earned the right to sit at the same table as you.

Another one of my favourite comments? “You speak so well!” What the other party doesn’t understand is that English is my native language, so yes, I should hopefully speak it well!

I don’t mean to deter people with a genuine interest in understanding more about me and my life, but at the same time, it’s not my job to continuously educate others, especially in my place of work.

In the past, my way of dealing with these remarks was to respond with wit and humour…but I wouldn’t let the behaviour go unchecked, either. So, in response to the comment about my hair, I would say: “Are you allowed to go to work with your face?” A sarcastic response, but I needed to highlight that my hair is as much a part of me as much as your face is part of you.

Microaggressions are typically more covert and insidious. It’s not overt racism, but they still have an impact. It can be difficult to pin down the exact problem and call it out. Microaggressions are typically unintentional, but the recipient always feels the damage.

Watch our Future of Work Conversations episode featuring Nadia Riepenhausen and Reshma Ramachandran, Group SVP and Head of Transformation at the Adecco Group as they discuss microaggressions and their impact on mental health.

Is this really “just the way things are”?

Recently, I was talking to a friend from Zimbabwe who also lives and works in Switzerland. We often compare our experiences. We talked about the ‘Black Lives Matter’ movement and how companies temporarily made discussions on race a priority, which seems to have tapered off and since disappeared.

We both came from privileged backgrounds and went to elite schools in Zimbabwe. I don’t view myself as someone who has been or is oppressed, and I am very aware of my privileged and fortunate upbringing. When I was in school, black or mixed-race students were the minority; the school system was colonial and British.

Back then, the term “microaggression” wasn’t that prevalent. “Black Lives Matter” was not on our radar in the 80s and 90s. We often encountered microaggressions and blatant racism because we didn’t have the tools to be vocal.

“That’s just the way things are,” we thought. And our parents told us that we simply had to be smarter and work harder to earn our seat at the table.

Microaggressions and mental health

Microaggressions can be so subtle that sometimes, in the moment, you don’t find yourself triggered. You find yourself laughing. Responding.

But once you’ve had time to process it all…only then does it sink in.

To be clear, these microaggressions are not giving me sleepless nights.

What do I find problematic? The fact that I’ve come to accept this as par for the course of being a person of colour working in the corporate world. One ignorant comment or question is not enough to cause a chink in my armour. But when it happens repeatedly, having to constantly explain your existence starts to wear down your spirit. To be on the receiving end of comments about how you look as dark as me after your beach holiday. No, I actually don’t want to compare your tan to mine.

When I say, “it starts to wear down your spirit,” what I really mean to say is that it erodes my mental health. These microaggressions chip away at my confidence and as a result, I often found myself playing small and trying to fit into the boxes others had built for me.

Here’s how it manifested. I found speaking in front of my peers or large groups of people challenging. It gave me anxiety. I felt like it was hard to show up as my true self, and my workplace did not feel like a safe space to me. I started to avoid speaking up in meetings. I would try to avoid presenting or leading discussions.

My advice for dealing with microaggressions

So how did I overcome this? And what advice can I give to help others tackle microaggressions in the workplace?

During my journey, I had to learn to find my voice and I had to learn to show up authentically, though it wasn’t always easy.

It’s important to understand that you will not be a fit for every company, and not all companies are the right fit for you. I now try to choose work environments that allow me to thrive. I have been fortunate to be able to walk away from places where I do not feel safe and where the wellbeing of employees is not a priority. I choose spaces both inside and outside of the workplace where I feel celebrated and included.

I’ve also learnt to create these spaces for myself by surrounding myself with like-minded people who embrace and welcome what I bring to the table. You are valuable, you are worthy, and you deserve to show up to work as your most authentic self.

If you are subjected to microaggressions, you have a few choices:

You can either ignore the remarks and choose to ‘rise above’ them.  In this situation, you’re the one who must carry that negative energy and frustration around with you. The behaviour will continue unchecked because you have kept quiet.

In my experience, it’s always best to call out this behaviour – without humiliating and shaming the person – rather than trying to make someone aware of why it’s not appropriate or why I find it offensive or insensitive.

One time, when I took this route, the person was apologetic and sincere, and we went on to become friends because we addressed the issue and moved on.

It’s not just a personal responsibility, though. It is also the responsibility of organisations to create safe and inclusive spaces. Workers need to understand that their organizations will not enable this type of behaviour.

And finally: we can all start to think a little before we pass judgment or make an ‘off the cuff’ remark at someone else’s expense.

For me, playing small and ‘folding to fit’ is no longer an option. I’ve chosen to be unapologetic about it, which allows me to spend time focusing on bringing the best version of myself to work everyday. I hope you can learn to do the same.